The Top 40 Fantasies: No.8

1. Perfect (2017)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Ed Sheeran

2. Evie (Part 1) (1974)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Stevie Wright

3. You’ll Never Know  (1943)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Dick Haymes

4. All Day And All Of The Night (1964)                                                                                                                                                                                                                           The Kinks

5. Since I Met You Baby (1956)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Ivory Joe Hunter

6. This Is My Song (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Petula Clark

7. The Monster Mash  (1962 and 1973)                                                                                                                                                                                                   Bobby “Boris” Pickett and The Crypt-Kickers

8. Almost Persuaded (1966)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               David Houston

9. The Man I Love (1928)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Sophie Tucker

10. Jam Up (1954)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Tommy Ridgley

11. I’ll Keep You Satisfied (1963)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Billy J. Kramer and The Dakotas

12. Buzz Buzz Buzz (Will You Be My Honey) (1947)                                                                                                                                                                                                        The Treniers

13. Everyday (1974)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Slade

14. You Belong To My Heart (1945)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Bing Crosby

15. My Shoes Keep Walking Back To You (1957)                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ray Price

16. It’s Good News Week (1965)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Hedgehoppers Anonymous

17. A Friday Kind Of Monday (1968)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Johnny Farnham

18. I’ll Find My Way Home (1981)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Jon and Vangelis

19. Cold Turkey (1969)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             John Lennon

20. Seventeen (1955)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The Fontane Sisters

21. If I Could Turn Back Time (1989)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Cher

22. Pretend You Don’t See Her (1957)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Jerry Vale

23. The Midnight Special (1948)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Tiny Grimes

24. I Can’t Tell The Bottom From The Top (1970)                                                                                                                                                                                                               The Hollies

25. Beautiful In My Eyes (1993)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Joshua Kedison

26. After You Got What You Want, You Don’t Want It (1920)                                                                                                                                                                                          Van and Schenck

27. Mother-In-Law (1961)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Ernie K-Doe

28. The Neutron Dance (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The Pointer Sisters

29. Not Responsible (1966)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Tom Jones

30. Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way (1975)                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Waylon Jennings

31. I’m Living For You (1944)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The Toppers

32. Pearly Shells (1964)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Burl Ives

33. They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa! (1966)                                                                                                                                                                                                      Napoleon XIV

34. Out Of Sight Out Of Mind (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The Models

35. Loverboy (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Billy Ocean

36. You Could Have Been A Lady (1971)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Hot Chocolate

37. Blame It On The Boogie (1978)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              The Jackson 5

38. It’s In The Air (1938)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               George Formby

39. Cumberland Gap (1957)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The Vipers Skiffle Group

40. Shout (1984)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Tears For Fears



Suggested improvements to ‘Improving Sentences’

Citizens of the town knew that Phillip was struggling/suffering!

The treasurer implied that the economy was weakening/waning.

New Zealand’s team has to win decisively/comprehensively in order to avoid a meeting with the reigning champion in the next round.

Monica led Susan from the commencement/beginning/start.

Ralph did not know which toy to choose/select/prefer.

The highway connected a diversity/(an) array/collection/number of different locations.

Temperatures are increasing.

The player sustained/incurred an injury to an ankle.

Patricia was adamant that she could execute/accomplish/achieve such a feat.

They were not in agreement with Malcolm’s proposal.


Improving Sentences

Can you improve the following sentences by replacing the underlined text?

Citizens of the town knew that Phillip was really doing it tough!

The treasurer implied that the economy was heading south.

New Zealand’s team has to win big in order to avoid a meeting with the reigning champion in the next round.

Monica led Susan from the get-go.

Ralph did not know which toy to pick.

The highway connected a bunch of different locations.

Temperatures are on the rise.

The player picked up an injury to an ankle.

Patricia was adamant that she could pull off such a feat.

They were not on board with Malcolm’s proposal.


The suggested improvements are located at the end of ‘The Top 40 Fantasies: No.8’.


Obsession Tires And Irks: Thursday, 24th November, 1977

Rain threatened as we drove to work. The day remained cold with the temperature reaching its zenith at just nineteen degrees Celsius. Tiki drove home, as I felt totally fatigued.

At half past five I watched the highlights from the first round of Colgate’s Champion of Champions tournament, which was played today at the Victoria Golf Club, in Melbourne. Bob Shearer, a Victorian, and the Queenslander, Mike Ferguson, share the lead at six under par.

At six o’clock it was time to watch the next edition of the American series, “Doc”, on Channel Seven. “Willesee” was followed by “Space 1999” and, an hour later, on Channel Two, the British comedy series, “The Liver Birds”.

Tiki is understandably somewhat irked by the fact that my compulsion to be a diarist is consuming more and more of my time. Therefore, in an attempt to, at least temporarily, assuage her, I combed her hair for a period of five minutes from nine o’clock.

My desire to scribe something diurnally began at the end of 1974 when I was handed a small, complimentary diary by a travel agent. At first, I wrote just one line per day. However, when I visited New Zealand for seven weeks in February and March of 1975 and met travellers in youth hostels who had kept detailed diaries for years I realised that I harboured the desire to follow suit.

A green substance called ‘Slime’, which comes in a light green plastic container and costs approximately one dollar and seventy-five cents, is a popular children’s plaything.

More and more refugees from Vietnam are continuing to arrive in Darwin, in all types of boats.

Articulate English: ‘Off’ Is The Opposite Of ‘On’

The word ‘on’ can mean “above and touching”. When this is applicable the word ‘off’ should be used as its opposite.

Example: Susan placed the book on the table. Later, she took it off the table.

However, when someone is in possession of something, such as money or keys, we do not take or accept it off that person, but rather from them, as the object that is being removed or accepted is not “above and touching” their person.

Similarly, for example, a victorious team does not win a title off another team, but rather from it.

Tom did not take the football off Barry, but rather from him.

An athlete does not wrest the lead off a fellow competitor, but rather from that person.

Wilbert Harrison

One of thirteen children, Wilbert Harrison was born in January of 1929, in Charlotte, North Carolina. Although he is known best as a singer of rhythm and blues, he was also an accomplished pianist and guitarist.

Wilbert’s career exploded, in 1959, when he took “Kansas City” to No.1 on both Billboard’s pop and rhythm and blues charts. The song had actually been written by the legendary duo of Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, in 1952.

Regardless of the fact Wilbert continued to tour and record, it was to be another decade before he would re-enter the charts. This event came in the form of the self-penned single, “Let’s Work Together (Part 1)”, which reached No.32 on Billboard’s Hot 100, in 1969.

“Let’s Work Together” was covered by Canned Heat in 1970 and under the title of “Let’s Stick Together” was to be taken to No.4, in Britain, and No.2, in Australia, by the leader of Roxy Music, Englishman Bryan Ferry, in 1976.

Wilbert Harrison died from a stroke, in October of 1994, at the age of sixty-five.

Can We Afford Not To Act?

A report issued this week and conducted on behalf of the World Wildlife Fund by the University of Newcastle states that the average person globally could be ingesting five grams of microplastics weekly.

Five grams, the report suggests, is the equivalent to the consumption of one credit card.

Without really wanting to detract from the gravity of this situation, yet being unable to suppress the urge, I quipped to Tiki: “I wonder what the rate of interest is on fifty-two cards per year?!”

Flippancy aside, Tiki and I view this situation extremely seriously and while we believe that as there are already an estimated one hundred and fifty million tonnes of plastic and other rubbish in our oceans, and that the proverbial horse in regard to this has already bolted, each morning we, without fail, manage to fill a plastic bag with litter during our daily walk.

In the years that we have been doing this we have only witnessed one other couple bothering to do the same.

We used to exercise two of our dogs at a communally designated area where they could run freely with other people’s breeds. One day, to pass the time, I took a plastic scoop with me and busied myself by picking up the ubiquitous droppings of others’ animals.

Tiki was standing on a rise some distance from me when a gentleman came up to her and started a conversation. When he noticed me in the distance, he remarked in words similar to these: “Look at that bloke down there. He can’t have much in his life!”

“That’s my husband!”, she responded.

Without the utterance of another word, he walked away.

Thrilling News: Friday, 25th November, 1977

Tiki dried my hair and we left for work at a quarter to eight, just as it began to rain. Although the rain didn’t last for long, the sky remained overcast for the remainder of the day. During our return journey, Tiki told me that she will buy me a new golf bag, buggy and a brand-new set of clubs for my birthday next year. I’m thrilled!

I suggested that we go out for dinner and, therefore, Tiki looked through the yellow pages of the telephone directory and selected the restaurant, Cassidy’s Stagecoach, which is located upstairs and opposite Bob Pollard Discounts on the Kingsway, in Caringbah.

We sat in a corner beneath an old still that depicted the American Civil War and featured the actor, John Wayne. We were served by a woman dressed in tight blue jeans and a red top. The service was particularly slow, perhaps because we were drinking lemon squash, as opposed to wine.

Tiki ordered steak chasseur at a cost of four dollars and ninety-five cents and the woman recommended the Texan’s rib for me. It was twenty-five cents more than Tiki’s course and while it was tender, it was almost unbearably oily and all too obviously the source of too much cholesterol for me to enjoy.

A circular apple pie, that looked suspiciously as though it had been bought from a pie shop, was served with two scoops of ice-cream for dessert. A cup each of percolated coffee, accompanied by an after-dinner mint, resulted in a bill of fourteen dollars and seventy-five cents.

It was twenty past eight before we emerged. Tiki had set her mind on us walking to Cronulla from there and so she took a moment to change into what I term her “duck feet” flat-soled shoes. It was twenty minutes to ten when we returned to the car.

Tiki opted to retire to bed shortly after we arrived home, however, in order to write my diary, I remained up until five past eleven.


No Love Lost: Saturday, 26th November, 1977

I woke Tiki at 2.55 a.m. because I felt unwell. After I had consumed a glass of water, which contained an effervescent, we partially watched Channel Nine’s ‘Late Late Movie’: “In Search Of Gregory”. Made in 1970, it stars the English actress, Julie Christie. We returned to bed by four o’clock, but still suffered from a restless sleep in what were humid conditions.

At half past eight I departed for Rockdale. Turning to the right at the town hall, I parked the car on the hill near to where I had done so in September on the day that I collected Tiki’s birthday present. As then, I boarded a train to take me into the city only this time I alighted at St. James Station.

I entered Diamond Traders’ showroom on the lower floor where I looked for a locket or pendant, preferably in the shape of a heart and in possession of a small diamond. Not wanting to spend in excess of a hundred dollars, I failed to see what I had hoped and headed off down Pitt Street to Manzo Park Lane, thence still farther on, to Prouds. I had seen an eighteen carat pendant with a nine carat chain in Manzo’s, which was priced at one hundred and two dollars. Nevertheless, I decided to return to Diamond Traders and this time visit its showroom upstairs before making a final decision.

However, nothing that the middle-aged lady showed me really appealed. It was for this reason that she directed me to the cabinets that were placed along a wall. There, I saw two pendants which matched the description of what I had sought. The only problem being neither was priced to fit within the limit of my budget.

The one of eighteen-carat gold, which came with a chain made from that of nine, was priced at one hundred and fourteen dollars. While the combination that consisted entirely of gold of eighteen carats, bore a price tag of one hundred and eighty-five dollars. Wanting what I considered to be the better of what I really couldn’t afford for Tiki, I wrote out a cheque for the latter amount.

Upon my entrance in to George Street, I was eager to remain in advance of an anti-uranium demonstration, in which people displayed yellow balloons while others blew on recorders. I entered the sport store, Mick Simmons, to price a set of thirteen superseded Jack Nicklaus golf clubs only to learn that it would have cost me three hundred and ninety-six dollars for the clubs alone!

I didn’t have to wait to board a train at Central and shared a compartment with a middle-aged woman who was obviously prepared to ignore the perceived possibility of being fined ten dollars for smoking. I stopped at the T.A.B. in Miranda and outlaid one dollar in the hope of securing the trifecta on this afternoon’s meeting in Sydney; opting for “Gold Planet”, “Little Ben” and “Star Dragon” to finish in that order.

As I pulled into our drive, at a quarter to one, I could not help but notice that our new awning had been installed above the window to our bedroom. Tiki said that the man had called at half past eleven.

We watched Will Rogers Jr. play his father in the film, “The Will Rogers’ Story”. Produced in 1952, it also stars Jane Wyman. I turned to Channel Two, at two, to watch its live telecast from the Victoria Golf Club, in Melbourne, of the Colgate Champion of Champions tournament.

At the end of today’s third round Bob Shearer and Jack Newton are tied in the lead at seven under par, two strokes in advance of the Americans Ray Floyd and John Benda. The round was played in the hot conditions as the mercury reached thirty-five degrees Celsius in Melbourne.

Whilst Tiki was asleep on the floor in front of the television, I sneaked her present in from beneath the seat of the ‘Galant’ and placed it in a pocket of my sports coat, which I have owned since 1969.

I called Tiki inside at half past four and we watched two of our three runners, in the race on which the trifecta was held, finish second and third. The favourite, “Little Ben”, was unplaced and the winner, “Lucky Launching”, started at the odds of sixty-six to one. The trifecta paid two thousand eight hundred and seventeen dollars.

We left on foot for the shop near the railway station to return four lemonade bottles and receive the deposit of twenty cents that had been paid on each. We had asked the plump girl who was serving us for two full bottles and noted that she had to subtract eighty cents from one dollar and twenty cents on a piece of paper to determine how much we owed.

At half past six the programme in Bob Raymond’s series, “Australian National Parks”, concentrated upon those in Western Australia. These included the amazing Geikie Gorge, which I visited in 1972 and Tiki, a year later.

“Brutus” rang at half past seven, to say that he will be departing for Melbourne on Wednesday. He plans to visit Susan and Roger while he is there. The conversation just dragged on and on and he informed me that if we wanted to know what he was doing, we should ring the only one of his siblings to whom he will be writing during his absence.

By this time I was becoming pretty bored with the whole thing, so I lowered the receiver and farted into it. Tiki, who was seated next to me, couldn’t believe her eyes. Nor her ears, when I proceeded to hold her responsible!

At five past eight we left to walk and jog through Gymea and Miranda. We returned by nine o’clock and Tiki  talked me into watching the picture, “Any Second Now”, on Channel Two. The English actor, Stewart Granger, plays the part of a baddie who is intent upon murdering his rich, amnestic wife. Lois Nettleton, Dana Wynter, who was born in Germany, Marion “Happy Days” Ross and Joseph Campanella are its other principal protagonists. We didn’t get to bed until half past eleven by which time I felt exhausted.

Unreturnable Bottles: Sunday, 27th November, 1977

Although we awoke firstly at half past six, we returned to slumber until a quarter to eight. I tickled Tiki’s back until half past the hour. That was when I heard the paperboy’s whistle.

As I read our copy of “The Sun-Herald”, which cost twenty cents, I listened to Sydney’s 2GB. It plays a selection of music from the 1940s to the present, however, this range can’t be of appeal to the general public, as in the latest survey of ratings it is listed as the radio station with the least number of listeners.

We left at a quarter to eleven and Tiki drove to a shop on Willarong Road, in Caringbah, to return six empty bottles that had contained lemonade. As I had attempted to tell her earlier, three of the bottles weren’t acceptable because they were non-returnable.

Tiki purchased a copy of the “Woman’s Day” and drove out to Kurnell in what was then warm sunshine. At the fruit market on the corner near the entrance to Captain Cook’s Landing Place, we bought oranges, apples, cherries, celery, pumpkin, grapefruit etcetera to the sum of eight dollars and sixty-eight cents.

It was a quarter to twelve by the time we returned and five to one when I turned on Channel Two’s live coverage of the final round of the tournament, Colgate Champion of Champions, from the Victoria Club, in Melbourne. The prize money totalled one hundred and fifty thousand dollars of which the winner, Bob Shearer, received thirty thousand.

Bob’s total of seven under par, placed him a stroke in advance of the quartet comprised of Britain’s Maurice Bembridge, Jack Newton, and the Americans Curtis Strange and John Benda. John had chipped in from a bunker at the last to card an eagle. Jack Newton had enjoyed a lead of two strokes until the fourteenth, and at one stage on the inward nine Bob Shearer had been three strokes from the lead.

“Ask The Leyland Brothers”, at half past five, transports the viewer to the historic Richmond Bridge and the former penal colony at Port Arthur, both of which are located in southern Tasmania, as well as the lakes at Mount Gambier, in South Australia. An hour later, ‘Feather Farm’ on “The Wonderful World of Disney” is about the ostrich farming in the early 1900s, in Arizona, and stars a young, clean-cut Nick Nolte.

Still on Channel Nine, “Hawaii Five-O” is followed, at half past eight, by “The Mind Of Mr. Soames”. A product of 1969, the movie features Robert “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” Vaughn who plays the part of a medical wizard. The English actor, Terence Stamp, is cast as the man of thirty who has been in a coma since birth.


The School Cadets

It was in my early years of high school that I joined the army’s unit of cadets. My mate, Peter, who was a year ahead of me and lived some six doors down the street was keen to join and my mother believed that to do so would be to my benefit.

Once a week we would dress in our military uniforms and not only carry our cases to school, but our ‘303’ rifles — minus their respective bolts and magazines — in order to practice our marching and drills, after classes had officially finished, for a period of about an hour.

One lad, whose surname was that of West, could not tell his left from his right and so we would urge him to be at the front of the march where he would invariably hesitate and cause confusion when the order was given to turn, especially when his decision was the incorrect one.

Each year, in mid-winter, we were sent on a camp that was situated out in the country. The initial one marked the first time that I had been away from home of my own volition.

Upon our arrival at the camp one of the first things we were ordered to do was to strip naked, don nothing more than a greatcoat, and join a long queue for what ostensibly was a physical inspection. When it was my turn to be perused by the seated gentleman I was asked the question that I imagine no teenage boy should or would want to hear, and certainly one I have not forgotten: “Has it always been that small?”

Mind you! It was so cold, that even the proverbial brass monkeys were in hiding.

At least I didn’t desire the need of one poor fellow who wore his swimming costume into the shower only to have a group of eager youths suspect that he possessed something that he did not want others to see and once the covering was involuntarily removed and he was taunted mercilessly, my personal feeling of inadequacy did dissipate somewhat.

The toilets provided for use were an absolute disgrace. They appeared to have never been cleaned as dried faeces were encrusted to the wooden seats. In fact, for the entire two weeks of that first camp I refrained from passing a motion.

A year later, I found them to be in the same shameful state and, therefore, attempted to do the same only to fall ill and lie to the doctor when he asked if I had been using the facilities.

We were housed, six to a tent, on stretchers and each day began at 6.00 a.m. to the sound of reveille. At which time we would immediately have to present ourselves outside our respective tents.

One boy, in his wisdom, had brought a hunting knife to the camp and in our spare time we would play a game that involved its usage. Making sure that our boots and gaiters were worn, two of us would stand facing each other, about a yard and a half apart and with our feet placed together.

The idea was to throw the knife so that its point either entered the ground or left its mark on its surface, but not more than a foot from either of one’s opponent’s feet. A successful throw would mean that the opponent would then move that foot out to the mark. The procedure would continue, in this vein, until one person could no longer keep their balance or extend a foot to the most recent mark.

We were transported into the bush en masse where a bivouac was to be staged, however, it was a day when rain fell heavily and the whole exercise was abandoned, for we were drenched to the skin before our makeshift tents could be erected.

Another day found us at the range where we were to shoot at a target of paper that had been pinned to a construction of hessian twenty-five yard distant from where we were each ordered to lay down on a bag of sand. We had been warned that the 303 possessed ninety-three pounds of ‘kick’ and after we had ceased firing the smallest boy in our unit was no longer positioned on his bag.

Beyond the targets was a sloping earthen mound topped by a wall of concrete. Somehow, one of the lads had managed to fire and hit this wall and I distinctly recall hearing the bullet ricochet back over our heads.

I was chuffed that one of my bullets had, indeed, scored a bullseye! However, Peter, who had been firing from a couple of yards to my left, poured cold water on this by claiming that I had been aiming at his target and he, mine.

We had also been told not to ‘palm’ the rifle’s bolt for to do so could damage a sensitive nerve in one’s hand. There was also the instruction to make sure that the rifle’s butt was firmly placed in the fleshy part of one’s shoulder, just below the collar bone.

I must say that seeing the size of the rifle’s bullet really surprised me as I had expected one to be more akin to that used in my father’s former ’22’ rifle that he had owned several years before.

Presumably, as no one had been injured in this foray into the firing of live bullets, it was decided that we should be conveyed into the countryside for some animated shooting practice. There, we were under the orders and watchful eye of a Regimental Sergeant Major (R.M.S.).

He informed us that the ‘big tree’, perhaps four or five hundred yards distant, was in his words ‘twelve o’clock’ and, keeping that in mind, we could expect targets to suddenly spring up before our eyes at ‘eleven o’clock’, ‘two o’clock’, ‘one o’clock’…

The targets were cut-outs of large game animals and were to be as distant as the large tree. We were given en masse just five seconds in which to fire as many bullets as we could at each specified target.

This was where I struggled and began to feel that I was letting my fellow cadets down. Therefore, after we had fired at perhaps two of the targets I made a conscious effort to re-cock the rifle and fire a second round. However, before I had the time to properly aim this second round at the target the R.S.M. bellowed, ‘Cease fire!’.

My finger almost involuntarily squeezed the trigger, nevertheless, and the bullet buried itself in the damp soil perhaps thirty yards in front of us. Sods and clods flew some twenty feet into the air as a deftly silence immediately ensued.

‘Who fired that?’, the R.S.M. roared. A short period of silence followed before I hesitatingly admitted to my guilt. Fortunately, for me, his bark was worse than his bite and no action was taken.

A few days later, Peter told me that he had heard that our school had achieved the lowest score of all of the schools that were involved in the so-called ‘field-shoot’.

It must have been during the camp in that second year, for I have no recollection of Peter being there, that we were again transported out into the countryside, only this time, in the dead of night. We were told that we were there to partake in something known as a ‘Lantern Stalk’.

Our unit was classified to be the stalkers and it was our job to progress several hundred yards down the hillside and take those down at the camp in the valley as our prisoners. Meanwhile, it was the job of those in the camp to fire brightly coloured flares into the air so as to silhouette our figures and thereby capture us.

I decided to adopt as low a profile as I could and as I lay on my stomach and literally crawled along I detected that those not far from me were in the process of being captured. Everything was progressing quite well until I realised that I had crawled into a coil of barbed wire, that had been left in the field.

While I was not personally injured in any way, it did take me quite some time to extricate my uniform from its clutches. When I eventually did, it dawned on me that not only was there no more firing of flares, there was no lantern burning in the camp below!

The ‘Lantern Stalk’ had certainly been held on an appropriate night, for it was totally devoid of moonlight. Despite the realisation that I had been totally deserted, I did not panic, in fact, I thought it all to be somewhat amusing.

All I could do was about turn and walk back up the hill, in the hope that I could flag down a passing vehicle. This came in the form of a truck which was conveying another school’s cadets back to camp, after their evening’s activity. They and their leader also found what had happened to me to be of amusement, too.

That second camp for cadets also included the dismantling and rebuilding of a Bren machine gun — something that did not inspire me — practice the throwing of hand grenades, the learning of the international phonetic alphabet, as well as, the learning of the art of speaking on a military radio, and the ability to read topographical maps.

Having watched Vic Morrow’s character, Sergeant Saunders, in the military series, ‘Combat!’, throw hand grenades over considerable distances with an apparent minimum of effort, it came as a genuine surprise to me how short a distance I could throw a grenade that weighed one and a half pounds, especially as we had been ordered to do so with a straight arm.

We were also forbidden from attempting to remove a grenade’s pin with our teeth, but in using my forefinger I could not imagine that being as readily achievable as it appeared to be on television, either!


Footnote: Peter was killed in 1976 whilst hang-gliding. The bar of his craft came down across the nape of his neck.


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