The Top 40 Fantasies

  1. Mona Lisa (1950)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Nat ‘King’ Cole
  2. Mama Weer All Crazee Now (1972)                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Slade
  3. Soul Man (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Sam and Dave
  4. Reet Petite (The Finest Girl You Ever Want To Meet) (1957 & 1986)                                                                                                                                                             Jackie Wilson
  5. Simply Irresistible (1988)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Robert Palmer
  6. Minnie The Moocher (1931)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Cab Calloway and his Orchestra
  7. Roses Are Red (My Love) (1962)                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Bobby Vinton
  8. Up Where We Belong (1982)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
  9. I’m Crying (1964)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     The Animals
  10. The Most Wanted Man In The U.S.A. (1975)                                                                                                                                                                                                       Joe Dolan
  11. Cherish (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Kool and The Gang
  12. Little Egypt (Ying-Yang) (1961)                                                                                                                                                                                                                               The Coasters
  13. Don’t Pay The Ferryman (1982)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Chris De Burgh
  14. Comes A-Long A-Love (1952)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Kay Starr
  15. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (1968)                                                                                                                                                                                                                The Beatles
  16. Can’t You See That She’s Mine (1964)                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The Dave Clark Five
  17. Bumble Boogie (1946)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Freddie Martin
  18. The One In The Middle (2007)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Sarah Johns
  19. As Long As He Needs Me (1960)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Shirley Bassey
  20. Look Away (1988)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Chicago
  21. I’m Ready (1954)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Muddy Waters
  22. Pleasure And Pain (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           The Divinyls
  23. Love, Love, Love (1956)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The Clovers
  24. Lily The Pink (1968)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The Scaffold
  25. Power To All Our Friends (1973)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Cliff Richard
  26. (Remember Me) I’m The One Who Loves You (1950)                                                                                                                                                                                         Ernest Tubb
  27. Across The Street (Is A Million Miles Away) (1965)                                                                                                                                                                                           Ray Peterson
  28. Get The Party Started (2001)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     P!nk
  29. The More I See You (1966)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Chris Montez
  30. Whip It (1980)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Devo
  31. The House Of Blue Lights (1946)                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Freddie Slack & Ella Mae Morse
  32. Sadie The Cleaning Lady (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Johnny Farnham
  33. Bop-A-Lena (1958)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Ronnie Self
  34. Move It On Over (1947)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hank Williams
  35. I Can’t Get Started (1938)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Bunny Berigan and his Orchestra
  36. Wake Up Everybody (1975)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Harold Melvin and The Bluenotes
  37. My Babe (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Ronnie Dove
  38. I Won’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me (1983)                                                                                                                                                                                                          Nik Kershaw
  39. Just A Little Bit Lonesome (1956)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Bobby Helms
  40. Mona Lisa (1959)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Conway Twitty

Australia Struggles: Monday, 11th July, 1977

A repetition of “Holiday” is viewed, from 6.00 p.m., on Channel Two. It conveys the viewer to Surfers Paradise and Hayman Island before embarking on a journey by raft near New Zealand’s largest lake, Lake Taupo.

After “Willesee” and the “Dick Emery Show” we watched the final programme in the current series of “In The Wild”, with Harry Butler. This evening’s edition is the conclusion to the trilogy on Barrow Island, which is located just off Australia’s north-west coast.

The commencement of the fourth day’s play in the Second Test was beamed live from Old Trafford, in Manchester, from half past eight. Australia required seven balls to claim the last English wicket. Nevertheless, England’s score of 437, in its first innings, means that it now has a lead of 140 runs.

Australia’s pursuit of these has proven to be a disastrous one. Rick McCosker was dismissed when playing an undisciplined hook, before a run had been scored. His fellow opener, Ian Davis, was dismissed in a similar fashion when the score was on thirty-one. Craig Serjeant contributed eight and the tall, lanky Tony Greig trapped Doug Walters leg before wicket in the last over before lunch, after the right-handed batsman had scored but ten.

Thankfully, Greg Chappell has batted exceedingly well and at lunch Australia is 4-92, of which Chappell has scored fifty-two.

A Majestic Greg Chappell: Tuesday, 12th July, 1977

I awoke at 2.00 a.m. and turned on my trannie just before the majestic Greg Chappell took his score from ninety-eight to one hundred and two by straight driving a no-ball from Bob Willis to the boundary. Kerry O’Keeffe was the other batsman at the crease and Australia’s total was then 7-188. When I awoke for a second time, at half past six, I was made aware that Australia had been dismissed for a meagre 218 of which Chappell had compiled 112 and David Hookes twenty-eight. O’Keeffe had remained not out on twenty-four. England, at stumps, was eight without loss, which means it requires just seventy-one runs to win when play resumes tonight.

This evening, “Last of The Wild” transports the viewer to Switzerland to observe marmots. “Willesee”, at 7.00, is followed by another programme from the comedy, “Good Times” and from eight o’clock, on Channel Two, we watched “Test Cricket Highlights” which has the lively instrumental, “Soul-Limbo”, as its musical theme. “Soul-Limbo” was a hit, in 1968, for the multi-racial group, Booker T. and The M.G.’s.

Channel Seven’s resident movie buff, Bill Collins, introduces “Lock Up Your Daughters”, from half past eight. The film, which bears the copyright of 1969, stars Canadian actor, Christopher Plummer and the English pairing of Susannah York and Glynis Johns.

“Driver’s Licence, Anyone?”: Wednesday, 13th July, 1977

On this pleasant sunny morning, “Behind The News”, presented by Barry Eaton, screens from ten o’clock on the A.B.C.’s Channel Two. Topics for review include uranium, Pakistan, the Australian animated feature film, “Dot And The Kangaroo”, as well as the revolution within Melburnian schools where healthier, more nutritious foods are being sold at tuckshops.

Two men arrived to install a telephone at our house. They informed me that they were unable to install a wall phone neatly because of the plaster walls and subsequently we have been left with a customary one, in the colour ivory, in a corner of the lounge room.

Tiki and I left on foot at twenty past four so that I might cover my diurnal six kilometres. Two teenage boys were riding a home-made minibike near Camellia Garden. Its engine sounded like that of a lawn-mower. During our inward leg Tiki told me of how, earlier today, a lady had accidently dropped her baby on to the asphalt near the bridge at the rear of this same garden.

This evening’s edition of “Last Of The Wild” is entitled ‘The Shark’. Sharks do not age nor are they open to disease or infection. We viewed the motion picture, “The Greatest Story Ever Told”, which was produced in 1965 and features a plethora of stars, two of whom are Charlton Heston and Jose Ferrer.

A David Humphreys appears on the thirteenth page of today’s copy of “The Sun” newspaper along with the renewals to five drivers’ licences, which were sent to him through the post. One of the renewals pertains to him.

England won the Second Test by nine wickets when it scored the remaining runs required for victory. The only wicket to fall was that of its captain, Mike Brearley, who scored forty-four.

Sir John Kerr Resigns: Thursday, 14th July, 1977

The highly controversial Sir John Kerr resigned today from the position of Governor-General. As Australia’s representative of Queen Elizabeth II, it was he who dismissed the Labor Government of Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam, on the 11th of November, in 1975.

Towards the end of a bitterly cold and windy day, in Sydney, we watched “Las Vegas Entertainment Awards”, from half past seven, which featured Barbara “How To Marry A Millionaire”/”I Dream Of Jeannie” Eden and singer, Wayne Newton, amongst others. “Policewoman” occupies the following hour. In this evening’s offering, a young man dresses as a female in order to murder middle-aged women.

Dress Rehearsal: Friday, 15th July, 1977

Yesterday, Tiki received a telex message which stated that her parents had decided to bypass Fiji and, therefore, would be flying directly home from San Francisco, with their arrival in Sydney now scheduled for twenty-five past six this morning. Having learned of this fact, I had busily set to and mowed their extensive lawns and generally tidied the grounds until after the street lights came on.

We awoke to the alarm at 5.00 a.m., but in my stupor I pushed down upon the knob that is the top of the aerial on my transistor radio and momentarily could not fathom why the alarm continued to ring. It was an icy six degrees Celsius when Tiki drove to the airport, arriving at twenty-five minutes to seven.

Qantas’s flight, QF4, from San Francisco had landed early, at six o’clock, a fact we had already been made aware of by listening to 2KY. We waited for the pair to emerge from customs and while singer, Kamahl, did, the couple we were waiting to greet, did not. Finally, at eight o’clock, I approached a counter that belonged to the airline and was informed that not only had they not been booked to fly on this morning’s flight, their names were not present on the manifest for tomorrow’s either!

This afternoon, on this extremely cold day, Tiki expressed to me that the telex had not been worded clearly and that her parents were not actually departing from San Francisco until today and, therefore, should now arrive in Sydney at twenty-five past six on Sunday morning.

At seven o’clock, much of this evening’s edition of “Willesee” is devoted to an interview conducted with Sir Zelman Cowen. Sir Zelman, who is of the Jewish faith, is Australia’s new Governor-General. The series, “Doctor At Sea”, follows and, at eight o’clock, tonight’s serving of another British comedy, “Mother Makes Five” ensues. We watched about half of the film, “The Great Waltz”. It centres upon the younger of the two Austrian composers who each bore the name of Johann Strauss. Horst Buchholz, Nigel Patrick and Rossano Brazzi are listed amongst the film’s cast.

Today marks that on which a punter must have a minimum of fifty cents in order to place a bet with the N.S.W. T.A.B. The twenty-five cent win and place unit is no more!

Freddie Prinz: Saturday, 16th July, 1977

An electrical sandwich toaster bearing the trademark of the company, Breville, cost us thirty-four dollars and ninety-five cents at Nock and Kirby’s store, in Miranda Fair. I paid sixteen dollars for a size nine-and-a-half pair of Bata ‘Strides’ shoes, at Myer.

The late actor and comedian, Freddie Prinz, is a guest on the series, “Cher”, which screens between noon and one o’clock, on Channel Seven. Last January, he shot himself at the age of just twenty-two.

The temperature in Sydney reached a maximum of nineteen degrees Celsius. This is three degrees above the seasonal average for the middle of winter. In these conditions, the Balmain ‘Tigers’ defeated the Penrith ‘Panthers’ by twenty-five points to fifteen.

We observed, from half past six, the documentary, “The Family Who Lives With Elephants”. It is narrated by the actor, David Niven. “Baa Baa Black Sheep” follows, an hour later, and prior to us retiring for the night, we are watching the last half of this evening’s edition of “4 Corners”, which is comparing policing in Australia with that in England and the United States. This perennial, investigative series has been screened weekly, on the ABC’s Channel Two, since the programme’s inception in 1961.

Backyard Surprises: Sunday, 17th July, 1977

We awoke to the 5.00 a.m. alarm for the second time in three days. QF4, with Tiki’s parents on board, landed at six o’clock, but we did not arrive until twenty past the hour. The songstress, Renee Geyer, had already passed through customs and although she wandered around aimlessly for quite some time no one arrived to meet her, at least not whilst we were there. The last I saw of her, she was using a public telephone.

Once I had received the opportunity, I ventured into our backyard and began to pull up some of the mass of Wandering Jew that has enveloped its rear. In doing so I found a number of objects. These included an old golf ball, a number of plastic practice balls and even a plastic ice-cream container filled with cooked prawns, which were almost unbearably on the nose.

However, the most startling discovery was undoubtedly that of the two pig’s trotters which were contained inside a brown paper bag. Not knowing what to expect, when I opened it an involuntary chill ran down my spine for, at first glance, I thought for an instant that I’d unearthed some human remains.

Miss Trinidad and Tobago has been crowned Miss Universe, in Santo Domingo, ahead of Miss Austria and Miss Scotland.

Eastern Suburbs defeated Manly-Warringah by twelve points to nil, this afternoon. The latter, therefore, sits in fifth position in the competition.

Determined By Fate: Monday, 18th July, 1977

This morning is delightfully sunny. “Mum” bought us a medium-sized Westinghouse refrigerator at a cost to her of four hundred and twenty-five dollars.

Tiki’s parents are trying to ease our initial costs, associated with the purchase of a home, as much as they possibly can. It had been our desire to use the money, that we had assiduously saved, to travel around the world before settling down. Her father had always regarded our decision to firstly travel and then think about investing in a home of our own, to be an imprudent one.

Nevertheless, our more immediate future had been determined not by us nor Tiki’s father, but by the present government of Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser, when, after three years of disastrous government under Labor’s Gough Whitlam, it chose to devalue the Australian dollar by seventeen and a half per cent. Thereby, effectively devaluing our savings by this same amount, were we to have followed our dream and travelled overseas.

Fears Are Held For Donald Mackay: Tuesday, 19th July, 1977

I was hanging my clothes into a section of our new wardrobe when I noticed that their weight had somewhat bent the bar provided. Upon attempting to straighten it, the bar — and, of course, the clothes — collapsed, leaving a sizeable scratch down one side of the new structure. Fortunately, the new Westinghouse fridge had been delivered, at 10.30 a.m., and Tiki had remained in a loving mood. This meant that I was told that I was “hopeless” in a considerably more light-hearted manner than would otherwise have been the case.

At 7.00 p.m., on Channel Seven’s “Willesee”, there is a report on the disappearance of the anti-drugs campaigner, Donald Mackay, from his home town of Griffith, in south-western New South Wales. Blood stains were found beside his tiny panel van in the car park of a local hotel and grave fears are held for his safety.

Programmes from “Happy Days” and “Laverne And Shirley” follow, on Channel Nine, from half past seven and eight o’clock respectively. Jet lag has caught up with Tiki’s father and he is sound asleep. We left to spend our first night in our own house, only to discover that the archaic electric water heater, which is located on the bathroom wall, does not work.

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