A Time To Cook

We were watching an edition of the British series, ‘Escape To The Country’, filmed in May of 2018, in the English county of Suffolk. Perhaps, it was when the elderly couple was viewing the second of the three properties for sale, that the host turned to the gentleman and enquired of him as to just how long it had been since he last cooked for his wife.

It, therefore, came as no surprise to me when Tiki turned and demanded, “When was the last time you cooked for me?”.

“Some years ago, when it was forty-one degrees and you wouldn’t allow me to turn on the air conditioner!”, I quipped.

Modifications Made

Tiki volunteered that she would dry my hair as she invariably does, especially when it is cold or inclement; prior to her then combing it to her satisfaction.

She invited me to sit at her end of the lounge as it was closer to the power-point and as I proceeded to make myself as comfortable as possible she passed comment on the effort I was making in order to do so.

“I’m just attempting to emulate you,” I replied.

“If you were trying to emulate me”, she retorted, “you’d be doing the cooking, the gardening…!”

“Well, I have made a few modifications!”, I quipped, baring a cheeky grin.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 28

  1. Smile (1954) Nat “King” Cole
  2. Ruby Tuesday (1967) The Rolling Stones
  3. Sleep Walk (1959) Santo and Johnny
  4. Am I Blue? (1929) Ethel Waters
  5. Be My Baby (1963) The Ronettes
  6. Where The Blue Of The Night (Meets The Gold Of The Day) (1932) Bing Crosby
  7. Move It (1958) Cliff Richard and The Shadows
  8. The Tip Of My Fingers (1960) Bill Anderson
  9. 96 Tears (1966) ? (Question Mark) and The Mysterians
  10. Say I Love You (1981) Renee Geyer
  11. Got A Date With An Angel (1932) The Debroy Somers Band
  12. The Lonely Bull (1962) Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass
  13. Wouldn’t It Be Good (1984) Nik Kershaw
  14. Hold Me (1964) P.J. Proby
  15. I Wanna Say Yes (1985) Louise Mandrell
  16. Two Kinds Of Tear Drops (1963) Del Shannon
  17. Jump In My Car (1975) The Ted Mulry Gang
  18. Bella Linda (1968) The Grass Roots
  19. Young Hearts Run Free (1976) Candi Staton
  20. Donna (1958) Ritchie Valens
  21. Mr. Bass Man (1963) Johnny Cymbal
  22. When You Get To The Heart (1986) Barbara Mandrell with The Oak Ridge Boys
  23. Just A Little Lovin’ (Will Go A Long, Long Way) (1948) Eddy Arnold
  24. Who Are You (1978) The Who
  25. Dance To The Bop (1957) Gene Vincent and his Blue Caps
  26. Maybe Tomorrow (1959) Billy Fury
  27. Sacramento (1972) The Middle Of The Road
  28. Rachel (1953) Artie Wayne
  29. Maneater (1982) Daryl Hall and John Oates
  30. Trying To Slip (Away) (1973) Lloyd Price
  31. She’s A Mod (1964) Ray Columbus and The Invaders
  32. Don’t Mess With My Heart (1988) The Skwares
  33. Stop This Merry-Go-Round (1972) Bill Brandon
  34. Written Down In My Heart (1982) Ray Stevens
  35. Without You (1956) Eddie Fisher
  36. Stranger (1981) Jefferson Starship
  37. I Want You, I Need You (1981) Chris Christian
  38. Shine On (1975) Ronnie Prophet
  39. Banapple Gas (1976) Cat Stevens
  40. You’re Running Wild (1956) The Louvin Brothers

A Verbal Low Blow

We were watching a news bulletin when there was word of a study that claimed to show that mothers play a greater role in the naming of a baby.

This led Tiki to inquire of me if I was, indeed, aware of whether it had been my mother who had done so.

“I can’t recall. I was a bit young at the time. But I was told that ‘Ian’ was Scottish for ‘John’.”

“Perhaps your mother thought you looked a bit like an American toilet!” She retorted.

Almost ‘Choked’

We came upon an elderly couple as they were also on their daily walk. The gentleman was wheeling their black poodle as it sat in a pram, the only problem being that he had forgotten to disengage the pram’s brake.

As he did so, I could not help but mention of how, in the previous week, I had failed in my attempt to start our lawnmower and of how it wasn’t until I had gone upstairs to report this fact to Tiki, that she inquired of me if I had, in fact, engaged its choke.

“I was very nearly choked, there and then!”, I joked.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 27

  1. We’ll Meet Again (1939) Vera Lynn
  2. The Loved One (1966) The Loved Ones
  3. It’s Magic (1948) Doris Day
  4. All Or Nothing (1966) The Small Faces
  5. Open Ended Heartache (2006) Adam Brand
  6. I’ve Been Everywhere (1962) Lucky Starr
  7. You Really Got Me (1964) The Kinks
  8. A Painted Tainted Rose (1963) Al Martino
  9. It’s The Same Old Song (1965) The Four Tops
  10. (I’d Be) A Legend In My Time (1974) Ronnie Milsap
  11. Cry To Me (1962) Solomon Burke
  12. Lovin’ You (1975) Minnie Riperton
  13. On The Beach (1964) Cliff Richard and The Shadows
  14. Teen Angel (1959) Mark Dinning
  15. The Joint Is Jumpin’ (1937) Fats Waller
  16. Hoop-Dee-Doo (1950) Perry Como
  17. Hoop-Dee-Doo (1950) Kay Starr
  18. Green Light (1948) Hank Thompson
  19. Chulu Chululu (1964) Bill and Boyd
  20. Living Next Door To Alice (1973) New World
  21. Mississippi (1970) John Phillips
  22. I’ve Been Everywhere (1962) Hank Snow
  23. Johnny Angel (1962) Shelley Fabares
  24. Rave On (1958) Buddy Holly
  25. Blackberry Boogie (1952) “Tennessee” Ernie Ford
  26. Bad Boy (1959) Marty Wilde
  27. Five Guys Named Moe (1943) Louis Jordan
  28. My Little Rocker’s Turned Surfie (1964) Digger Revell and The Denvermen
  29. Waiting For A Train (1929) Jimmie Rodgers
  30. Soothe Me (1961) The Sims Twins
  31. Funky Broadway (1967) Wilson Pickett
  32. Bunny Hop (1952) Ray Anthony; vocals: Tommy Mercer and Marcie Miller
  33. You Can Do It (1978) Dobie Gray
  34. I Don’t Know Where To Start (1982) Eddie Rabbitt
  35. I Still Believe In Love (1978) Charlie Rich
  36. Set Me Free (1965) The Kinks
  37. Black Magic (2015) Little Mix
  38. You Gave Me Somebody To Love (1966) Manfred Mann
  39. Who Let The Dogs Out (2000) The Baha Men
  40. The Joker (1973) The Steve Miller Band

The Third Mug

Tiki had espied a pair of mugs in the front window of a shop, we were passing. The mug on the left possessed the wording ‘Mr Right’ while the second displayed that of ‘Mrs Always Right’.

As Tiki was consumed with laughter, my mind wondered why “my” mug was absent from the display, for it would have conveyed the perceived self-belief, ‘Mr Seldom Right!’.

“Poop Deck”

Our dog was doing her very best to defecate on an upturned dinghy.

“I do believe she’s attempting to christen it!”, I announced at the time.

“What name did she bestow on it?”, Tiki enquired.

“Poop Deck”, I quipped.

Unimpressed!

Tiki had just commented on how pieces of clothing appeared to scattered about the furniture in our lounge room.

“I have my whole wardrobe out to impress you. I’m like a dancing peacock!”, I professed.

“You can forget about the cock bit!”, she retorted through a smile.

A Realistic Promise

We were watching television when we observed a woman of eighty years who was still mowing her own lawn.

This prompted Tiki to remark, “Don’t expect me to mow our lawn when I’m eighty!”

“I won’t. Because I won’t be here!”. I assured her.

“How old will you be when I’m eighty?”. She surprisingly queried.

“Eighty-eight. Out of the gate before eighty-eight!”. I replied.

“I should never have opened it, in the first place!”. She retorted, with a wry smile.

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